A woman who gave her biological son up for adoption years ago recently asked him to stop calling her “Mom.” The son, now an adult, had reconnected with her and wanted to build a relationship. But when he started calling her “Mom,” she felt uncomfortable and thought it was disrespectful to his adoptive mom.

When I was 40, I had a baby as a teenager and gave him up for adoption through an agency. The agreement allowed my son to contact me when he became an adult. 18 years later, I got a letter from him asking to meet. I agreed, and his adoptive mom brought him to see me. It was great meeting him, and we have kept in touch since then. I also let him meet my other kids, and they became close like brothers.

Recently, he started calling me “Mom,” which felt strange to me. I felt it was not right since his adoptive mom, who has been very supportive of our relationship, is his real mom. I explained my feelings to him about a week ago, and since then, I haven’t heard from him. We sometimes go without talking for a while, but I feel this silence is because he is upset, and I feel guilty about it.