Marriage Isn’t Everyone’s Endgame: Insights from Those Over 40

We wanted to know why some people over 40 have chosen to remain single. The responses we received were insightful, a bit bleak, but refreshingly honest, proving that happiness doesn’t always come with a wedding ring—sometimes, it’s about solo adventures instead.

“Been there, done that. No thanks.”
One person shared, “My kids are adults raising their own families now. I’m 75 and content being an able-bodied senior who loves life with the rest of my single lady seniors. A spouse is not needed for a happy and full life.”

This sounds like reasonable retirement goals: no spouse, just freedom, friends, and fulfilling volunteer work. Add a glass of iced tea, and many may reconsider marriage.

“The right one didn’t date me until I was 53.”
“And that’s okay. We’re married now and happy. I was happy before him too. I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, without needing input from anyone. Marriage doesn’t define who we are,” another wrote.

It’s worth noting that solo decision-making isn’t all bad. Imagine living without ever hearing the words “We need to talk.”

“I’ve never seen a positive example of a marriage.”
“I know this is unusual, but in my family, no one seemed happy, or they argued or abused. It made me very wary of marriage. If it happens, it happens, but it won’t define me,” a commenter explained.

When your family gatherings are more Real Housewives than Brady Bunch, skepticism toward marriage makes perfect sense.

“You are complete and of value regardless of your marital status.”
Someone penned, “Because we have moved beyond the stage of ‘you need to be married to be complete or of value.’” It’s almost as if we’ve realized that a wedding band doesn’t actually increase your self-worth. Shocking!

“Speaking for myself, I never wanted to get married.”
“Even if I LOVE you, I don’t want to see you EVERY day or have to talk to you EVERY day,” another person confessed.

There’s something very forward-thinking about admitting you’d rather not be in constant contact with anyone—even if you’re in love. Romance, redefined.

“It’s sad society views being single as something wrong.”
“Where is being married the expectation in life? Some people may be content with life and themselves, not needing to share with someone else,” someone questioned.

Translation: some of us are quite happy eating takeout and watching whatever we want without commentary.

“I never found the right one.”
“I’m also very independent and love being able to do what I want when I want. I love my alone time. Marriage isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay!” said another.

It’s hard to argue with the appeal of complete control over your schedule. No compromises? Tempting.

“I’m still looking for my partner.”
“Almost three times, but I’m good with having friends and family to give me love and support for now. A partner is hard to find that complements my life. For now, I’ve worked at enjoying my own company and can do trips alone,” shared another.

Solo travel: because sometimes, the best companion is yourself and a good book.

“I fall for emotionally unavailable people.”
“I have major trust issues. I’m not proud of it, but it’s the truth. I’m starting to think a loving relationship may not ever happen for me,” one person admitted.

At least this person knows their relationship pattern—emotional unavailability is apparently their type.

“I never met anyone worthy of spending a lifetime with.”
“I am 55 years young, never married,” one person quipped. Tough standards? Yes. Regrets? Absolutely not.

“I didn’t marry until 58.”
“I wanted to get married at about 30, but by that time, I was somewhat set in my ways, and the good ones weren’t where I was,” someone shared.

The whole “waiting for the right one” thing has a shelf life, but hey, better late than never, right?

“Love this free life. Too much negativity in relationships.”
Another added, “It’s better to have peace and quiet than constant bickering over where to go for dinner.”

“Not everyone needs a husband and kids to be happy.”
This sentiment was echoed by a Facebook user who remarked, “My joy doesn’t hinge on a ring or diapers. It’s almost like happiness can be achieved without a wedding registry.”

“Being single is great! It’s a license to be selfish.”
“No one to tell you what to do, or when or how. You’re not responsible for tiny people. I loved being single and never considered seriously dating until I was in my mid-30s,” someone said.

Being selfish never sounded so reasonable.

“Watching my friends’ marriages end in divorce is a sure sign.”
“When all your friends’ marriages turn into sitcom-level drama, sometimes staying single seems like the smarter—and quieter—option.”

“You don’t get married just because you’re expected to.”
“If the right person hasn’t come into your life, find happiness and contentment with friendships and being on your own,” a commenter added.

It’s almost as if the real fairytale ending is being your own best friend.