I Won’t Let My Mother-in-Law Live With Us Unless She Follows Some Simple Rules

Carla was thankful that her mother-in-law helped them buy their house but never wanted to live with her. However, when her husband said his mother would be moving in, she couldn’t say no right away. Instead, she told her mother-in-law about the important rules she needed to follow before moving in. Carla didn’t expect this to cause a family conflict and wrote to us hoping for advice.

Carla was thankful that her mother-in-law helped them buy their house but never wanted to live with her. However, when her husband said his mother would be moving in, she couldn’t say no right away. Instead, she told her mother-in-law about the important rules she needed to follow before moving in. Carla didn’t expect this to cause a family conflict and wrote to us hoping for advice.

I’m in a difficult situation with my mother-in-law, and I’m unsure if I handled things the right way. My husband wants his mother to live with us because she feels lonely and has offered to babysit our kids. Given that she helped us buy our house, I felt I couldn’t just say no. But I set some non-negotiable rules that she would need to follow if she were to move in with us. First, she must sell her car. We have a two-car garage and simply no space for a third car Second, the only spare room we have available is the smallest one in the house. It’s not the most comfortable, but it’s the only option since both of our kids have their own rooms and need their space. Third, I expect her to help with the cleaning. I handle the cooking myself because I prefer it that way, but I don’t like cleaning.

I thought these conditions were reasonable and necessary for maintaining harmony in our home. However, when I presented these conditions to her, she ended up crying and said she felt insulted. Now my husband is on her side, which has only added to the tension. I’m struggling with how to navigate this situation. I genuinely appreciate the help she’s offering, but I also believe in setting clear boundaries to ensure everyone’s comfort. Now, with the current tension in our home, I’m not sure what to do next. I need advice on how to handle this situation and find a way to make everyone feel respected and valued. Thank you for your help. Sincerely, Carla
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